According to a UNICEF report, more than 10 million girls between the ages of 20 and 35 are currently waiting for marriage in Pakistan. About one million of them are past the age of marriage. There are about 6 million single widows between the ages of 30 and 45. This means that these are the widows whose second marriage is possible, but in our society, the method of selecting girls for marriage has become so inhuman and uncivilized, that even a virgin girl of thirty years, does not fall into this category. The total number of widows is about four million and there is no government or non-government system in the country to support them.
Excessive demands on relationship choices are also a major cause of relationship delays. And also that materialism, selfishness, next to which now such qualities as nobility, humanity, literature and civilization have become insignificant. The cause of this problem is also economic and social inequalities and the growing trend of girls towards education. The girl's parents want her peers to be educated, on the other hand, the boy's family also uses tricks in choosing a more educated girl. Because they think that over-literate girls are usually annoyed and irritable.
It is difficult to imagine the anguish and suffering that unmarried girls or widows live alone. When widowed, most women are evicted from their homes without sharing in the in-laws' property.
The problem is that when members of the same family go out to see a boy for a girl, their psyche is different. And when they look for their son's relationship, that psyche changes radically. Our society suffers from such duplicity. That includes us all. The daughter's employment is seen as a way to help her/them get out of financial trouble. And often in the family, she is allowed to work, even to fulfill her dreams. But when a girl is found for her son, the job is rejected without trusting the girls' behavior and got rejected.
A population that is many times faster than the resources is an atom bomb for this society. What should this society and its people, entangled in mental illness, do? I belong to the Syed family and you will know that Syed families do not have relations with their daughters in a non-Syed family even if the girls get old. Sadat has such serious problems. There will be similar stories in other castes as well.
Ignorance, hypocrisy and our society have made life hell.
Written by Syed Mehdi Bukhari
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